Hey, what up guys? I’m Chris Leben and I’m going to tell you guys a story. This story is about when I fought Anderson Silva. For a long time, it was me getting knocked out on the most expensive UFC card ever made, which was Anderson Silva’s rookie card. It was him knocking me out. So everybody knows how that fight goes. I remember in the fight when he hit me a bunch of times and I went down, I took a knee, as I like to say, I knew I probably should just stay down, but at that time I was retarded and I was like, “You know what? I’m going to give him a clean death.” So I stood up, I dropped my hands and I turned straight towards him. As I did, he launched in with a flying knee. Clean flying knee in my face. Put me out.
Matter of fact, he put me out so bad, later that night, I’m at the casino, we’re at The Hard Rock. I’m with Kim, who’s like my mom, the lady that raised me, my best friend’s mom. The fight was on TV, it’s replaying and I’m like, “I can’t believe I got knocked out so bad that day, a little bit ago,” and she’s like, “Chris, that was three days ago.” We’d been in Vegas for three days. I thought it was fucking 30, I would go back and forth between thinking it was 30 minutes after the fight and then I would remember what happened. Then a little bit later, I’d think it was 30 minutes after fighting.
Well, fast forward that first night, maybe it was the second night… That second night I stayed in Vegas a couple of days. I ended up getting the worst black eye on my life. And how do I do that? Well, I pass out so drunk in bed that when the morning comes around, I accidentally roll out of bed and as I roll out of bed, I hit my eye just perfectly on the corner of the nightstand. Literally it was the worst black eye. My whole eye is swole, the side of my face is swollen completely shut. Right? And now the problem with this is I just fought Anderson Silva two days before. So now we’re going out, we’re in Vegas, we’re at Starbucks. The fucking baristas, they don’t want to say, “Hey, saw you get your ass kicked the other night.” So instead they go, “How’d you get that black eye?” Then I would go, “Oh, I rolled out of bed and hit it on the nightstand.” The looks these people would give me, it was the most frustrating things.
They’d be like, “Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. You fought Anderson Silva two days ago, but your black eye is from rolling out of bed.” It made me so mad because it wasn’t once. It wasn’t twice. I mean, I think everybody saw the fight and nobody wants to say, “Hey, I watched you get smashed the other night.” So they would always open, whether it was my barista or my waiter or some dude in the casino with, “How’d you get that black eye because it won’t open.” But, no, I got it from rolling out of bed a day or two after the fight. That’s it. That’s the story.